Rambling goodness at its best

*insert incredibly long, painfully guttural scream of impotent rage here!*

Yep… that is how I feel right now.

Guess what we studied last week in class?!

Can ya guess?

Can ya?

Can ya?

Can ya?!

Writing to explore…

That sounds a glorious adventure doesn’t it? In some ways I suppose it is, but perhaps not in the way you might imagine.

source: http://flic.kr/p/9moQAC

I’m going to share with you all the latest piece of fiction I have written. No, it’s not associated with my current WIP (there will likely be a rant post on that in the coming weeks knowing me!) it’s completely seperate and different.

I will be submitting this piece to my teacher as my first piece of assessment next week (as is – but any comments or suggestions are welcome!)

Saint Patrick’s Day 2013

Sunday 17th of March 2013, saw me witness my first Saint Patrick’s Day without my grandfather. My beautiful grandfather passed away in November last year and it’s been a tough few months since we had to say our goodbyes. This day, a day usually for celebrating and getting rather inebriated, instead filled my mind with sorrow and fresh pain.

I’m not this cute when I cry…
Credit: http://flic.kr/p/8bDAS1

Mental Lethargy

I’m sure you’ve all experienced this at one point in time. Often for me it is accompanied quite annoyingly with physical lethargy too, which makes me feel somewhat akin to a fat pumpkin.

Image credit: http://flic.kr/p/r6S9e

Yep, if I tried hard right now I’m sure I could get my face looking something like this. I do tend to put a goofy face on quite well! 🙂

I want to dream

I want to dream of him.

I want to know that he’s ok, that there is something after death.

To see him animated and alive

To get to say goodbye one more time

To feel his love

To see, not just remember his smile

To watch how his eyes twinkle

I want to dream of him.

Not just remember him and miss him.

We all miss and love you Grandad.

Set adrift on the wave of emotions

I hate this crazy ‘I’m-not-in-control-of-myself’ feeling.

A perfect example: The other day when hubby and I were driving, the sweeping golden grasses in the farm paddocks near the road out past the winery and on the way to the shops made me cry… freaking craziness!  I don’t even know why, it’s not like Grandad ever let his paddocks get like that, they were always well kept because he had cattle.

I dunno. It’s strange…

Sometimes I’m perfectly fine. I miss him, sure, but the pain and sadness is ok, it’s manageable, it’s not overwhelming. Other times it’s like being suffocated.