Review: Love, Desire and Betrayal


2 stars

Read from October 12 to 14, 2015

Synopsis: Four young women: Michaela, Sally, Amelia and Lauren. All Australian. All destined to find that the course of real love is not smooth sailing.

Four separate tales touching on a universal goal.

Will career ambitions jeopardize their futures?

Michaela, A gifted student of music, is offered a long-hoped-for scholarship to study in London. Can the budding love between herself and Thomas be sustained over the miles?

Sally, a senior high-school student, finds that love is tested when her fiance begins his medical studies. Will their love survive?

Amelia, whose career ambitions have become a dominant force in her life, finds that married life with Steven is fraught with difficulties.

Lauren, young and vulnerable, finds her life undergoes a steep learning curve as she realises that there is life after a broken romance.

Bookish Things: 176 pages. The cover is ok, but I think something more appropriate and a bit more professional would suit this book more.

Where to buy: Amazon on kindle for $2.90

My Review: 

Bookshelves: indie-author, goodreads-review-req, indie-review-copies, aussie-author-challenge-2015, aussie-authors, aww2015, spring-2015, 2-star-review, editing-requiredromance-ish

Overall, this book is made up of four short stories. Each focuses on a young Australian woman and the various states of their love lives.

I didn’t feel any emotional pull to any of the women, nor the men in their lives. I did get annoyed at the rather underhanded and insulting behaviour of some of the parents in the story though, especially Michaela’s parents.

Underlying each story I felt a sense that each of these women behaved as if the men in their lives were defining them, like they couldn’t function appropriately without someone telling them what to do. This ‘person’ was generally male too, be it boyfriend, husband, father or boss.

The book needs another pass over by an editor, there were a number of small typos and errors.

Comments for each story are below, along with the things I noticed in each.

Michaela Betrayed
I liked the musical elements to this story, but little else. Michaela came across as a little fickle and a little whiney.

8% – …increased by (delete by, insert my) sense of comfort…
11% – and as (wrong font) arranged we left…
26% – …since I’d be(en) held, kissed, or loved.
34% – Bye (delete e) the way…

The String of Life
This was my second least favourite story. The ending was so abrupt it felt like the ending was tacked on as a 30 second after-thought.

37% – “So, what are (you) doing…
46% – Chapter 10 text is centre aligned and smaller than the whole page.
Wtf? That was so abrupt!

Amelia’s call
This was my least favourite story. I really disliked how Amelia came across as needing a man.

There were too many adverbs and unnecessary words, which was throughout the book, but worse in this story.

56% – …become an (delete an) “an item”
58% – Suddenly I become acute(ly) aware…
69% (but all throughout too) – too many adverbs!

Grr, why can’t the women be happy without a man?

Lauren Played
I wanted to slap the naive out of Lauren. In her defence she was young, but it was still annoying. I didn’t like either Rob or David and also wanted to slap Zoe.

89% – I (delete I, insert A) guy like that wants to respect…
96% – As he (delete he, insert his) smile became rueful…

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