This was read on August 28, 2013.
Synopsis: Denise Milton is a professional and damn good at what she does but her faith is tested when she finds herself attracted to her gorgeous partner, Troy Mader. After an unfortunate incident, Denise realizes she is not the only one who craves his touch. Testing the limits of their feelings drives them into the clutches of a tortured mind. Do they let their relationship unfold or will just a taste lead them to Deadly Temptations?
Deadly Temptations is a Short Romantic Suspense with an edge…
Bookish Things: 40 pages, this one is a super quick read. The cover is quite nice if you like seeing a lovely flat female stomach drenched in sweat.
Where to buy: Amazon has this for $0.90 on kindle.
If you like slam, bam, thank you ma’am sex scenes you might enjoy this. The sexy scenes aside (I’ll go into that more later) the details in the story were hazy at best. We had info dumps by way of basic conversation between one unimportant character and one or both of the main characters and little else.
This stems from the above lack of detail. In a 40 page novella, background information may or may not be important, but you need to make a call on that pretty quickly. If you think background information is needed you need to drip feed it into the story, not drop it in, in giant chunks that drag down the pace of the scenes. If you don’t think the background information is needed at all, make the reason the characters are doing what they’re doing seem immediate reactions to something and then justify them. Don’t drag the reading from the past to the present to the past to another scene and then back again trying to tie it all up nicely.
An example of this is with Angie, there was really no reason why we needed the background information, and her role in the story could be explained in a much simpler manner.
As previously mentioned, wham, bam, thank you ma’am is the flavour of the book. The level of detail in the sex scenes was appallingly thin, basic text – almost as if Mina was a little shy about them. There was very little foreplay, very little lead up at all. Almost as if one minute there was a little interest, and then the next they were going at it like a pair of rabbits.
How to improve this…
A serious editing session with a strong editor, a re-draft of the whole story to work out the important parts and flesh them out. Find the unimportant parts and cut them. Make a character sketch of the protags and the antagonists and make sure their behaviour fits their persona, both consciously and in their sub-conscious behaviours. Develop the sex scenes, tease the senses, not just sight, tell the reader how Mader’s well chiselled chest feels, what he smells like as they curl up afterwards, and provide more sensory information to really bring in the reader.
Even for a short titillation read, you need to submerge the reader into it, not just give very basic descriptions.
The genre melding of erotic thriller worked well for Deadly Temptations, it will draw in a wider audience because of that. Denise is a character that a lot of women could relate to; she seemed to be fairly normal, career driven and realistic. We had very little physical description of her, which may have been done on purpose to allow for more women to relate to her, or may have been done by accident. Regardless, it worked.
The Epilogue isn’t needed. It adds a ‘fluffy’ ending to a story that doesn’t need it, but the information in it could have been added into the end of the story in a less direct way.
Ultimately, with a hefty edit and re-write this could be a rather exciting read for both erotic and thriller audiences. Mina has the right ideas, but the execution of them falls short.
Have you read any decent erotic thrillers? Share your suggestions below.