Pass through #2 is much the same as the first one…
Red Pen Love
source: http://flic.kr/p/cLieP5
I pick up the red pen again, this time focussing on trying to cut out anything that is superfluous.
Between Versions 1 and 2 I did another line edit. I picked up things like missing words (thankfully it was only one) and tried to find concrete verbs. I changed stick to felled branch to give the reader a better idea of the environment.
Also, Lynx would appear a bit of a klutz if she tripped on a tiny stick, even in her haste. That being said, a larger branch might be more easily avoided… it’s a tough choice. I felt that Lynx was more likely to trip on something bigger because she would have tried to jump over it, or step over it but the size of it might have been underestimated and she tripped.
I also picked up on one more past/present tense slip and removed a couple of superfluous words and sentences.
Version 1: 569 words
Version 2: 562 words
Version 1 vs Version 2, 8 words were lost and one found in this battle.
As you can see, this wasn’t an exceptionally intensive edit. It’s fairly minor things I’m picking on, but they’re still important. Edit 3 happened a couple of times in the same day, I versioned them as 3.1, 3.2 and 3.3.
Once edit #2 was done, I rushed through two more minor line edits but found little that needed changing (at that point). I needed to take a step back from the nitty-gritty of word choice and look at the text on a larger playing field. I read the entire thing out loud and anywhere I stumbled on the words, where I felt word choice might be revised or the text didn’t immediately make sense I highlighted and made comments on what I should consider doing.
I looked at the images I was creating and made sure that the same or similar imagery wasn’t being used close together. I checked the use of the five senses, I relied pretty heavily on hearing (given Lynx has very good hearing) but really, she has all five senses highly developed and I wasn’t using that enough.
Edit 3.3 – asking myself the BIG questions…
Total words: 588 – I added some more detail in where the Black wolf first enters the fray. This was the bulk before cutting.
Do you too find that you bulk before trimming the fat?
I’ve heard that this is a tactic that some authors take. First draft, second, bulk in the third, then 4, 5, 6 (and so on) cut some more. This too can be applied to physical strength and body building *grin*
What part of the editing process do you like the most? Which do you like the least?
coffee2words 
I actually don’t mind her tripping on a felled branch because I could actually ‘see’ it happening while I was reading this. She is the forest and crashes into a clearing so she wouldn’t have had time to see the branch and jump over it.
Best of luck with the rest of the edits. I love the way you go through each step with us 😀
Thanks Dianne! I figured that for some the editing process is steeped in mystery. My process will differ from everyone else’s, but it might help shed some light on the process.
I will have two more blog posts on this story (well at least on the editing part) I have submitted it to my teacher already so it will be interesting to see what she comes back with, she is a paid editor.
Reading out loud is a good plan. Funny how much you stumble over things that otherwise make sense.
So true Tony!