The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles by Ray Rhamey


3 stars


The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles turns vampire mythology on its head when Patch, a calico tomcat, is turned into breakfast–and a vampire kitty-cat–by a starving vampire. Narrated by Patch in a deliciously snarky cat take on the world, Patch struggles to find a new life, as it were. In the process, he’s almost skewered with a stake by a mob with blazing torches, tried for murder, nearly crunched by a seven-foot undead guy, just about shotgunned into undead pieces, comes inches from having his tail cut off and seconds from being fried by the sun, and kidnapped twice. Oh, yeah, and turned into a (shudder) politician. On the other paw, he does hook up with that sweet Siamese, and it looks like he’s on the way to winning that election . . .

Ease of reading:

292 Pages. This took me 10 days to read. I don’t think it was because of the writing style, I think the delay in reading it was because I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I thought I would.


I’ll admit, the idea of a kitty-cat vampire intrigued me. It is why I decided to get this book. I wasn’t sure how it would be done, but I really thought it held a large amount of potential.

I was wrong!

Patch, knew too much, understood too much and despite not being able to talk or possessing opposable thumbs, was able to communicate too well with the humans around him.

I am a cat person, always have been and I think I always will be, so I understand that a person can come to understand their cats meows, facial expressions and body language. I truly believe that! What I don’t like, however, is that throughout the tale, people who had just met Patch just KNEW what he was trying to say. That was unrealistic.

Now, this annoyance aside, I did enjoy the slightly different vampire ‘side-effects’ that were explored in this book. Too often vampires are all powerful and have very few weaknesses, aside from the sun.

Some of Patch’s outings and excursions were too far fetched and did cause a few eye-rolls.

If you take this book as a bit of a light hearted roll in the hay with vampires, then you will probably enjoy it. If you are a die-hard vamp fan, this book would probably piss you off or annoy you.

Overall, the book was OK. Not great, but not totally lame either.


2 thoughts on “The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles by Ray Rhamey

  1. I can understand why you thought it would be good with a title like that – I love that you warn die hard vamp fans that it may piss them off! 😀

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